Exterior Portrayal vs. Interior Qualities

In the book, "Send Me Down a Miracle", by Han Nolan, the main character, Charity, in the beginning of the book, worships Adrienne, an artist who has come to her small time to work on her art. She sees her as a free spirit, one who isn't trapped by her hometown or close-minded like the people in her tiny town. Charity sees Adrienne as the polar opposite of her father, who's the town's preacher. She dislikes her father and strives to be unlike him, while she likes Adrienne and wants to mimic her every move.

This being said, I've noticed through the course of the book that Adrienne and "the reverend" actually have a lot in common. They're both selfish, putting themselves before others, both steadfast in their values, and both have their "escapes", The reverend's in the bible, and Adrienne's in her art. So, if they're both flawed, and rather similar people, why does Charity worship Adrienne and despise her father?

The answer to this, I think, lies mostly in the ways these two individuals portray themselves. The reverend is a serious, worrisome, composed person with a very sparse sense of humor. Adrienne on the other hand, is a seemingly carefree, openly-loving, funny, and extravagant person who is a breath of fresh air for Charity. Their differences in exterior personality, even though they may be all too similar on the inside, is how Charity decides who to model herself after.

Another reason that Charity seems to have put Adrienne on a pedestal is because her mother leaves just a few days before Adrienne comes to town, and even if Charity doesn't know it, she's subconsciously looking for a replacement. Adrienne is someone who treats her as special, and gives her love, something her father doesn't.

This book is a very interesting look on personality, human nature, religion, conformity, and coming-of-age, along with many other things. I would definitely recommend it to my classmates.

Hidden Traits

In "The Hobbit" by J. R. R. Tolkien, Bilbo Baggins, the main character of the book, undergoes a major change from the beginning of the book to the end. In the beginning of the book Bilbo is a timid Hobbit who would rather stay at home in his warm hobbit-hole than go on an adventure with 13 dwarfs and a wizard, which is what he ends up doing.

In the beginning of the book, when told that he might die on the adventure he's about to embark on, he falls on the ground and screams repeatedly, "Struck by lightning! Struck by lightning!", and then passes out from fear. However, by the end of the story Bilbo is risking his life to get gold back from a dragon, fighting goblins, and making truces between elves, men and dwarfs. Obviously, Bilbo has undergone a huge change since the beginning of the story, but what caused this change?

I think one of the reason's that Bilbo has changed so much is that he was forced to. He was kind of forced into going on the journey, but he did have a choice. I think that the brave part of him that chose to go on a perilous journey is the same part of him that stood up to all the dangerous obstacles on his journey. Over the course of the journey the part of him that decided to go on an adventure grows stronger, and he grows into an adventurous, noble hobbit, as opposed to the admittedly good-natured, but cowardly and lazy hobbit he was at the beginning of the story.

There are things in life that are difficult that can lead to us becoming better people. An example of this in my own life would be when my little brother was born. Now that I have to share with him, I feel like I've become a better role model, and a more generous person; however, when I first found out I was going to have a little brother, I was less than happy. Sometimes the things we resent immediately can turn out to be those that make us grow most as people.

A Missing Button

The book "Corduroy" by Don Freeman, was one of my favorite books when I was about 4. It's about a teddy bear who's missing a button, and doesn't think he'll ever be bought, but then gets bought by a little girl who sews back on the button. Looking back on the book, I can see a much more obvious message the author is trying to show. I think the message is that even if you aren't perfect, you can find someone who will love you, and "fix" your flaws.

While at my age it seems like kind of a cliche message, I think it's a really important one for people to learn, or at least partially identify with. The book seems like kind of a counter-statement to a lot influences that give the message that people should try to be as close to perfect as they can get. It's an important thing for little kids to learn, mostly because it's a good memory to have in their  heads when they start wanting to be perfect.

Another message I think the message gives is that it's okay to be flawed. Corduroy tries to get a button to replace his missing one, but ends up knocking over a lamp and falling over. I think this is the author's way of saying that if you try to fix your "flaws", you might end up hurting yourself. Some real world examples of this are disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. Another different example or this would be people who get plastic surgery and then get infections and various other ailments form the foreign substances in their bodies.

I like the message, because I've come to realize that it is, for the most part true. I know that I'm definitely a flawed person, but their are people who see all my flaws, and still love me, like my family, and some of my close friends. I think this is a really great message to give to little kids.

The Enduring Friendship of Harry, Ron, and Hermione

In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling, something I noticed while reading the epilogue was that Harry sticks with the same group of friends for his whole life- Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville. Ever since the first book, these characters have played parts in his life. If not major, the parts they play are still important to the book. Ron and Hermione are especially important to Harry, as he tells them everything and trusts them with his life.

This was interesting to me because throughout my life, my friends sometimes change. I've been close friends with someone one year and then the next year I'll barely talk to them. The cause behind this, I usually find, is that our interests aren't as similar as they once were. Even though Ron, Harry, and Hermione have different interests, Hermione's very focused on schoolwork and the liberation of House-Elves, Harry's focused immensely on defeating Voldemort, and Ron focuses on Quidditch and other things, they remain friends all throughout their years at school, and, the reader can only assume, for their whole lives.

My theory on why they don't grow apart is that they have been through many dangerous situations together, and trust each other a lot. An example of this is that in the first book, Ron and Harry weren't friends with Hermione, and thought she was an annoying know-it-all. However, after they fought the troll, it's said that "But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them…" Even though Ron and Hermione and Harry weren't all friends before this, they become closer when they go through a life-threatening situation together. 

Another I believe they all remain friends is that they're all in Gryffindor, and therefore all possess the trait of bravery. They're also very selfless people, and they make sacrifices for each other multiple times. Harry, in the first book, saves Hermione and goes on to fight Voldemort on his own, Ron, both in the first and seventh books, tries to save Hermione, and Hermione risks expulsion, which she considers worse than death, many times for Ron and Harry. 

All in all, the friendship of Harry, Ron, and Hermione is incredibly enduring, both because of the sacrifices they make for each other, and because of the life threatening situations they are in together. 

Who is someone you've had an extremely long friendship with? Why do you think it was able to be that long? 

Who is someone you would give your life for? 

Just Because It's Happening in Your Head Doesn't Mean That It's Not Real

In "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" by J.K. Rowling, there's a quote that Dumbledore says to Harry that really made an impact on me: "Of course it is happening inside your head Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?". Dumbledore uses this line as an answer to a simple question of Harry's, if what is happening to him right now is real or in his head, but I see this line as more of an ultimatum about life and reality. This line actually drastically changed my overall perspective on certain aspects of life.

Everyone has a different reality. Everyone has life experiences that make them see the world differently. Everyone thinks about things differently. What is reality? Well, the dictionary says this: "The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them." So reality is "the state of things as they actually exist." What about dreams? What about ideas? Are material things not reality? Are our ideas and thoughts not really as important as maybe we thought they were? Maybe what Dumbledore is saying is that things that happen in our head should be defined as real. 

I think that one's ideas and thoughts are very important. Reality and ideas go hand in hand. Our life experiences shape how we think about the world: Reality shapes our ideas. That being said, our ideas and thoughts also shape what we make out reality, how we live our lives. I think that Dumbledore's trying to say that what is real and what is happening on our heads are very, very closely linked, and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the two. There's kind of a grey area. 

In the Harry Potter series, Dumbledore is Harry's mentor. Harry gets wisdom and advice from him constantly. Dumbledore tells him things that will help him grow as a person. This piece of knowledge, one not even explicitly presented as a piece of knowledge, is, I think, one of the most important lines in the entire seires. Dumbledore's telling us that things aren't that hard to reach, our dreams can be achieved, he's kind of making life more accessible to Harry. 

Umbridge's Decision (MAJOR spoiler of the 6th HP book)

At the end of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, by J.K. Rowling, Albus Dumbledore, a great mentor to Harry, dies. He was a very respected and talented wizard and, for the most part, a very well liked person. The only people who didn't like him all too much were the Ministry of Magic, because he seemed to oppose them a lot. However, at Dumbledore's funeral many members of the Ministry show up to give him a last farewell. Among these various wizards and witches is Dolores Umbridge, a Ministry person who made it very clear in the last book that she did not like Dumbledore at all, and thought he was insane.

So why would she come to his funeral? Did the ministry force her to so she could "repent" or something? Maybe it's because she actually cares about Dumbledore now that he's dead. I'd like to think that that's her reason. Now that he's dead, she cares about what he did and she sees that he may have been a good headmaster. Even though she does turn out to be an evil person, she has t have some compassion somewhere deep in her probably very dark soul, and maybe that's why she came to the funeral.

This got me thinking about how people rarely realize how good they have it until they don't have it that well anymore. It gets me thinking about childhood, and how kids always want to grow up, but once they do they wish they were young again. People really take things for granted, with childhood, being able to live pretty much stress free and not realizing how great that is, and with Umbridge, having Dumbledore run things in a very efficient way and be a very talented wizard. Now that he's gone, she might miss him a bit.

In conclusion, I think that even if I don't know Umbridge's exact reasons for going, I'd like to think that maybe she was remorseful of how she had thought of him in life and now does miss him now that he's dead.

What did you take for granted that you wish you hadn't?
Have you ever realized something when it was "too late"?

Taking risks in a small world

    In "Love & Death" by Max Wallace and Ian Halperin, the investigation book into the death of Kurt Cobain, member of the band Nirvana, in the beginning of the book, it talks about how Cobain feels stuck in his small town, and can't wait to get out. For him, music is his way out. In his hometown, he's depressed.
    I can relate with Cobain all too well. Sometimes even though I live in New York City, one of the biggest, busiest cities in the world, I feel like I'm stuck doing nothing that's worth anything. Cobain feels like he's wasting time staying in his hometown, and can't wait to get out. I feel like being in school everyday and living the life that everyone does, and not doing anything especially important will leave me forgotten in the long run. I know that I'm only 13, and only in eighth grade, but I feel like I want to take a risk with my life, and get out of my "hometown", so to speak. Cobain took a risk, and he ended up being famous.
     However, Cobain may have ended up killing himself. (The circumstances of his death are fuzzy and a bit suspicious). If that is the case, then obviously he wasn't happy. Maybe even when we do take risks and get out into the world we're not content. Maybe no one is ever truly content, because there's always something more you could've done to not be forgotten. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though Cobain did make it out of his hometown, and took risks, and ended up famous, essentially everything he wanted, he still wasn't happy. Maybe no one is ever truly happy.

Grammar + Depression

In "will grayson, will grayson", by David Levithan and John Green, there are two Will Graysons. While they have the same name, they're very different people. Each Will Grayson's alternating chapters are written by alternating authors. The Will Grayson David Levithan writes as, the one I liked to think of as "depressed Will Grayson", writes in all lowercases throughout the entire book, except when he writes in all capitals to show screaming or enthusiasm. it's really annoying actually, he wrote like this the entire book and i was driven a little bit insane sometimes. In the beginning of the book, I really could not stand it. I definitely care about grammar and spelling, and at times I just wanted to scribble all over the book with a pen, turning all the un-righteously lowercase letters capital.

  I honestly have never really been able to connect to Levithan's books, finding them a little unnecessarily complex in terms of the writing style, a little bit too much inside the character's heads, and not all that relateable. I don't think I've ever read and enjoyed a David Levithan book, but I was determined to like this one because I really like John Green, and wanted to enjoy reading "will grayson, will grayson".

In the end, I did enjoy reading it. I think having John Green's chapters written with typical grammar and capitalization rules gave me a bit of contrast to maybe ask myself why Levithan would choose to write in all lowercases. I mean, John Green is able to convey his characters perfectly well without breaking grammar rules. Then I thought, maybe Levithan was trying to say something about how the character's mind worked, and it wasn't just Levithan trying to be above typical capitalization, which is what I thought at first, and honestly thought it to be a little pretentious. 

Having the letters be all lowercase made the character seem like he was trying to be above societal norms, and not trying to fit in, or not believing he could. This Will Grayson was depressed, and believed he was different from everyone else in terms of having felt more pain, and being more, in a sense, broken. To him, the little things in life don't matter. He just wants to be happy, but by focusing on pain, he's holding himself back. I think the reason that he doesn't capitalize his letters, or why Levithan made that decision, is to show that he's past caring, but is also actively making a decision not to care, and in that, he's showing that he does care. By not using capitalization, he's setting himself apart from society, putting himself beyond the reaches of everyday rules and norms. The way Levithan writes his character actually gave me a lot of insight into who the character was, and wasn't just some ploy to make the book more pretentious and "artistic" than it was, as I originally thought his lack of capitalization was. 

In the end, I agree with Levithan's choices, and I think that even though the non-capitalized letters could get  a bit infuriating at times, the choice Levithan made ultimately made the character deeper, and helped me see more who "depressed Will Grayson" really was, past his depression, and also deeper into it.

Can the way we think affect how we write and use literary tools? Can the way we write give others a window into our minds? 

Reading Response to "Am I Blue?" by Bruce Coville

     In the short story, "Am I Blue?" by Bruce Coville, there is a line in the story that I really connected to. The line is said by Melvin, a "fairy godfather" to a 16 year old boy named Vince. The role  of a fairy godfather is to help kids who are being gaybashed, or being made fun of for being gay, even if they aren't. Melvin's role is to give Vince advice, and also to grant him three wishes. Melvin tells Vince the story of how he died, he was murdered by three guys trying to "teach him a lesson" because he was gay. Vince asks Melvin if he wants to "get those guys or something" to which Melvin responds, "I prefer reform to vengeance". This is the line that really stood out to me in the story. I think it has a really good message, and I agree with it.
     The reason I agree with this line is because I believe that vengeance does not really help anyone. The reason it doesn't help is because it only creates more rage, and drastic actions usually occur. Also, it keeps the rage alive, and turns one hateful event into a chain of hateful events. If Melvin had sought vengeance on his attackers, say by beating them up, he would only have kept the chain of events going. Maybe the attacker friends would go after another gay kid, and beat them up because now they believed that all gays were bad, or maybe they would just keep the hate in their minds, and pass it on to their children or other people they had an influence over further on in their lives. Whatever happened, a chain of hate would be continued, and there would just be more rage and hatred.
     What, Melvin says, that he prefers reform to vengeance, makes a lot of sense. Reform can only help people. It can make them better, and make them see the world in a different way. One key to the kind of reform Melvin is talking about it tolerance. He wants to help bullies see that what they're doing is wrong, and that being gay really is okay. He wants to help people see that being gay is not wrong, to change the way they see the world with tolerance, as opposed to carrying on a chain of hatred with vengeance. Now Melvin helps people who are questioning their sexuality come to terms with who they are, helping, instead of hurting like he would be if he had tried to go after his attackers.
     In conclusion, Melvin's statement that he prefers reform to vengeance is something I agree completely with. By helping people change for the better and have more tolerance, Melvin is helping stop a chain of hateful events that could have happened if he had sought to hurt his attackers back. By choosing reform over vengeance, Melvin is stopping hate and promoting tolerance.

Peach Blossoms and Growing Minds

     In "The Drummer Boy of Shiloh" by Ray Bradbury, there is a recurring symbol, the peach blossom. In the beginning of the story, peach blossoms fall from the tree above the drummer boy, Joby, onto him drum as he sleeps. In the beginning of the story the peach blossoms startle Joby. However, by the end of the story the peach blossoms are still falling but he reacts differently, he accepts them, instead of being startled by them.
     Although the peach blossoms are significant in many ways and represent many things in the story, one way Bradbury uses them is to show that the change Joby goes through is mental, not physical. The falling of the peach blossoms falling is a consistent occurrence throughout the story, and the setting remains the same throughout the entire story, even though the character undergoes a great change. His reaction to the blossoms is different at the end because at the beginning of the story he's apprehensive and scared about the coming battle, which is why the peach blossoms startle him. However, by the end of the story, when he's ready for the battle and has accepted his fate., the peach blossoms don't startle him anymore.
     The peach blossoms show the continuous aspect of the physical setting, and the fact that the story takes place over a short period of time, yet the character undergoes major mental changes.

Harry's Rude Awakening

   In Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling, Harry's best friends Ron and Hermione become prefects. At first he's jealous of them. He wonders what the headmaster, Dumbledore, sees in them that they don't see in him. He becomes jealous of them and starts feeling bitter towards them. Thinking about this consumes his mind for a while and for a little bit he sees it as a big problem.
   Later on that night though, he sees a picture of a lot of people who were in a society called The Order of the Phoenix who are now dead, or have been tortured to insanity. Harry knew some of these people, or is friends with the relatives of the people in the photo. This makes him wonder why he was worried about being a prefect at all.
   I think that the reason that Rowling included this part was to make a statement about how sometimes, when people are worried about little things, something can happen that shakes them back to their senses. I also think she's making a point that sometimes people get so involved in their own lives that they forget about or are ignorant to big things happening around them.
  I can connect this to my life in many ways. One example was on 9/11 when I was really stressed out about homework and high school applications, and then I looked out the window and saw the light tribute and realized how little my problems were compared to everyone who was affected by 9/11.
  I think that by having something like this happen to Harry, Rowling is saying something about the world.

Reading Response to "The Fall of Rome"

     Over the summer I read The Fall of Rome by Martha Southgate. I found it really engaging and realistic. The book is told from the point of view of a few different people, but the main story revolves around a boy named Rashid and how he adjusts to a boarding school that he's going to. The boarding is mostly full of rich white boys and he feels out of place at his school, being black, and coming from a family that really doesn't have any money to spare. He gets into the school on a scholarship.

    One aspect of this book that I found really interesting was when Rashid tried out for the track team at his new school and finds that he's a natural at track. One of his teachers, Mr. Washington, who's the only black teacher at the school, also enjoys running and runs with Rashid from time to time. However, although Mr. Washington has been running for years, Rashid is faster than him, and has more natural talent than Mr. Washington does. 

     Mr. Washington is the only black teacher in an almost all white school, and he almost looks at other black students with contempt. He's not comfortable with his race, it's something he's grown to accept, not something he's proud of. Rashid however is very comfortable with his race, and he's proud of being in the school he is now, which he got into on a scholarship. 

     I think the author is using track as a metaphor with how these two black male individuals are dealing with their race in a place where they're the minority. Mr. Washington, although he's been dealing with it his whole life, is not yet comfortable with teaching at this school where he's the minority. He keeps to himself and tries to avoid what he sees as an issue by not socializing with other teachers. Rashid, however is using this experience to make other people see that he's really not different from anyone else, and that he's comfortable  with who he is and how he fits in. Rashid is "outrunning" Mr. Washington both literally and figuratively. I really liked the author's use of this metaphor.