Sometimes You Have to Get it Out

One of my favorite songs is Holy Cross by River City Extension.

Here's a link to the song- Holy Cross audio youtube video
And here's a link to the lyrics- Holy Cross- River City Extension lyrics

Sometimes the things we feel are too much. We have to vent, to let it out, subject one of our friends or peers to a sea of emotions. We expect to be understood when we rant, and to be met with compassion and sympathy. All too often, that's not the case, and the final result ends up being frustration. To me, that's what Holy Cross is about, the frustration that comes from believing in people and the lack of understanding that is apparent.

One of my favorite lines in this song is "I hid your name upon the quilt I knit, still, I don't think that you'd understand." In this line, the writer is trying to show a gesture of appreciation and love to someone, but he's afraid that his intentions will be misconceived. The "still", to me, is a representation of the fact that even though he's trying, and even though it's a large gesture, the person he's trying to make see the light doesn't have the capacity to understand why he's doing it. Another line that stands out to me is "Well I don't think the lord understands / And why the hell'd it take so long to grow?/ Perhaps we worship all the things we know" The part of this I love is "Well I don't think the lord understands". I love this line because of the way the songwriter is singing about God, a supposedly almighty and all-seeing power, in a way that puts God on a human level, and the way he even dares to be a little bit (honestly) condescending towards the epitome of religious respect. The writer is rejecting the company of the figure that many turn to in times of great need, and simply dismissing the fact that God would be able to comprehend his emotions.

At the end of this song, after the last line plays and the last note is fading out, there's a little snippet of speech: "Sometimes, you're in a bad place and you have to- you know you have to get it out and uh- I don't know. Everybody wants to do everything. I want to do everything. You- Ya Know?" I love the way the song goes from a critical tone to a voice that plays directly to the listener, and stops being combative. The last two words of the song: "Ya know?" are perfectly ironic to me. The entire song is about how nobody ever fully understands anyone else, and then the song ends with the writer asking for the listener to understand what he's been saying. Even though no one understands him, he's asking for understanding. My theory on this is that without saying these things, he'd only be lonelier than if he didn't say them, even if they won't be fully comprehended. 

Every time this song ends, I'm left with the words "ya know" echoing in my head, asking me to understand the song. It's funny, because I'm being asked to understand something I've just been told I won't be able to. It's a cycle we go through, asking to be understood, hoping that maybe this one time someone will be able to know exactly what you mean, and ending up frustrated again. Ultimately, we're in the same lonely place that we were in when we stared. But as said, sometimes you just have to get it out.